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What do you mean pill bottles don’t make excellent rattles? And also chew toys?

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While I was looking for Father’s Day gifts back in June I came across a lot of fancy handprint kits.* I really liked them but couldn’t justify spending $40+ on what’s basically a picture frame. So I made one myself.

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The frame was $12.99 at Target (I just looked for one with a large white mat – there were several choices). The paint is Crayola non-toxic craft paint, also from Target and about $6 total. And I printed the picture out using our home printer (I’m going to replace it with a nicer one IF I CAN EVER GET E TO DRESS UP AND POSE FOR ONE FRICKIN MINUTE).

If you notice, my hand is yellow and E’s is blue. And yellow and blue make green, so the baby’s print is green. Aw how disgustingly cute. Also, I suspect they use midgets and not babies for the product pictures of baby handprints, since the somewhat smudgy one we got was after three practice tries. Babies are more interested in rubbing the paint on their face than making beautiful treasured keepsakes. Selfish babies. Can’t they see the big picture? Anyways, if you’re somehow related to me expect your own version of this at Christmas. Try to act surprised.

*Actual Father’s Day gift: Tool belt and tool caddy I picked out in Home Depot while E was buying lumber and presented to him at the checkout so he could pay for it.

The good parts.

Hobo baby lost a sock

Hobo baby lost a sock

Floor time is much more fun on the new rug

Floor time is much more fun on the new rug

Whatevs, you couldn't afford anything in this Pottery Barn catalog anyways.

Whatevs, you couldn't afford anything in this Pottery Barn catalog anyways.

The ratio of toys to baby is about 100 to 1.

The ratio of toys to baby is about 100 to 1.

The dance we were doing to make him laugh totally deserved that smile.

The dance we were doing to make him laugh totally deserved that smile.

Bro, check out my shoulder surfing skills and my bitchin necklace.

Bro, check out my shoulder surfing skills and my bitchin necklace.

When we first moved to Connecticut, we found a rental house through the Navy Housing office. It was tiny and uninsulated and impossible to heat and we totally loved it. It was owned by a cool old guy named Fred whose family has owned the land for 250+ years and had planted dwarf apples trees on a dozen or so acres. Our house directly faced the orchard. I spent the whole first year in the house perfecting my apple pie and working weekends in the red barn where Fred ran a pick-your-own-apples business. It was an amazing experience and I met a ton of interesting people. One those people was Miss Happy, Fred’s girlfriend (I use the term for lack of a better one, both Fred and Happy are in their 60’s) who is the most fascinating person ever. She has a degree in piano from Julliard. She used to work for a publishing company in NYC that sent her all over Europe to discover talented new writers.  And now she owns a vineyard here in Connecticut. This weekend was their annual Harvest Wine & Food Festival which we’ve never attended before but will definitely not miss in the future! They had a dozen food vendors, live music, all the wine you could want (Thanks for the bottle, Happy!) and tons of people chilling in the grass having a great time.

Our house is old and full of character, hardwood floors, big windows and high ceilings. Unfortunately, now our house is also full of baby crap, and I don’t mean in the diapers. One of the things that had not yet been moved/covered/replaced/changed to accommodate the baby was our beautiful, shiny hardwood floors. We had them refinished early in my pregnancy and figured that was probably good enough. I’d just sweep up the dog hair and run the Swiffer over them once a day. They don’t get that dirty. I mean, they’re not spotless but they’ll be fine. THEY WERE NOT FINE. The amount of dog hair that drifts across the room on any given day is ridiculous, not to mention the cat hair and the dirt all of us track in. I had been putting the baby down on a blanket or a towel but now that he can roll those aren’t really big enough. “You know what we need?” I said to E, “We need a really big thick towel that covers the whole middle of the floor and has a sticky back so it doesn’t slide everywhere.” “Let’s go buy a rug,” said E.

And so we did.

IMG_3582It was $25 at Target (75% off!) which was just too good to pass up. We also got one for the nursery for $12 so now I’m not tempted to put Baby Evan down in the crib for play time. I think he really likes his new rug…

IMG_3568…even though it confused him a little at first. It’s much better for scooting than the slippery floor. It is NOT, however, thick enough to prevent crying if the baby accidentally falls on his face because you thought he was sitting up on his own but he’s really not. Not that anyone here would ever do that. And by anyone I mean me. Maybe we should have gotten something a little bigger, since His Rolliness cannot be contained.

IMG_3576Pay no attention to those cords behind the baby. We’re terrible childproofers.

That’s not really how you’re supposed to use a tummy time mat, but whatever. My baby thinks outside the box!
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p.s. I really really need a rug. I think an Ikea trip is in order immediately.

If by “read” you mean crinkle up all the pages, shove them in your mouth, and then throw up on it, then yes.

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P.S. And then he SCREAMED for 10 minutes because I wasn’t holding the book correctly in front of him. NO MOM YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG except at a volume equivalent to thirty jackhammers and without actual words.

So here’s my request: Talk to me! I live for comments on this blog, absolutely obsess over them. If you read the comments here and think I know all these people you’re totally wrong. OK, so one is my best friend, and then a couple more are my other best friends and one is my sister in law and sometimes my sister comments (using the super clever handle “your sister”) but almost everyone else is a stranger. At most they’re an internet-only acquaintance who I’ve gotten to know through Facebook. I am not Dooce or Amalah or one of the 25 other mommy bloggers I have bookmarked. I don’t get thousands or hundreds or even dozens of comments. I don’t get free stuff from companies. I don’t have ads. I didn’t start doing this to be famous or rich* – I blog simply because I have too much to say and not enough real life in person people to say it to. So if you like reading here, please join in. It doesn’t have to be clever or funny or interesting. You don’t have to have kids. Hell, I’ll take a “FIRST!1!!” or a “Why is this even ON Bebehblog?????” I swear to you I read every single comment (usually the minutes you write it) and appreciate anything you have to say.

p.s. If you do like reading here and know anyone else who might enjoy it, could you pass it on? So far my biggest day ever was only like 300 views (which is ridiculously pathetic) and half of those were E and my friend Erin.

p.p.s. Anyone want to give me some advice on using an internet hosting company that allows ads? So far my attempts at online writing have resulted in $300 of unpaid entries to a military spouse website and this blog. I don’t want to switch platforms so I’d like to use the wordpress.org software but beyond that I have NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING. Email me!

p.p.p.s. I swear I won’t do this again for at least six more months. I’m back to all baby, all boobs, all poop all the time. Here, let me make it up to you:

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*I’m not saying I don’t WANT to be rich or famous. If somehow you have the power to make that happen I’d love to hear from you too. Call me, Oprah! Or Ellen! Or Bonnie Hunt! (Did you know she had a show? I bet you didn’t. Because you have a job and better things to do that watch tv at noon.)

I frickin’ love New England this time of year. I don’t even mind that summer is almost over and the weather is cooling down, because next comes FALL and fall in Connecticut is gorgeous. It’s also when all the stuff happens – this weekend is the Greek Food Festival, the Taste of Italy, and the Ledyard Town Fair. So much food, so little time! Next weekend we can go apple picking and make enough apple sauce to feed all three of us for a year (I have a secret inside hookup for apples). And before you know it, it will be time to pull out the Halloween decorations – or if you’re some people, that time is now. Here are some of the signs of fall around my neighborhood.

IMG_3479…although I’m not sure anything these eyes are saying is appropriate for a 5 month old.

I love email! It's like talking to other grown ups without having to worry if the baby is screaming! Contact me: bebehblog@gmail.com
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