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I don’t think Baby Evan is ever going to crawl. I am only slightly upset about this development, as it means I can delay my baby proofing a little while longer. Unfortunately, that means when I do baby proof I’ll have to go right to the locking-up-everything stage instead of the empty-the-bottom-shelf stage, complete with baby gates, toilet locks (?), anti-door-slamming devices (???) and padded faucets in the tub (???????)

Baby Evan has always hated tummy time and now that he can roll front-to-back without any effort he won’t stay face down for more than a couple seconds. He can sit with very little help and stand almost on his own. He looooves the standing, looooooooooves it lovelovelovelovelove and would stand all day if his mean evil mommy didn’t complain about her arms hurting and make him lie back down WAH WAH WAH WAH WAAAAAAH. But because he refuses to spend any time on this tummy he hasn’t progressed to straight-armed push ups and could care less about trying to get up on his knees.

I’ve done the required Google search for “OMG what if my baby never crawls?!?” and “is not crawling a sign of autism/ADD/childhood cancer/douchbagism?” and everything is very reassuring. Lots of babies skip certain milestones in favor of other ones. He’s been right on track with smiling, laughing, motor skills and growth. I have no real reasons to worry – so I won’t. Or I’ll try not to. So what if all the other 5 months old at mom’s group are practicing their downward dogs and rolling front to back? My kid is well on his way to being the youngest person ever to run a marathon.

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