– I need to stop threatening to eat my baby, no matter how chubby and delicious his legs look.

– I wonder if all almost-four-month-olds know how to make THE WORST NOISE IN THE WORLD. Baby Evan has started screeching like he’s being strangled and he has to make sure ALL the neighbors know it. I’m expecting the police to show up any minute.

– Oh God, is it teething? Is it going to keep happening? I’d better Google “how long does teething last?”

– The baby loves the dog more than he loves me. A LOT more.

– There is no one in the world I like hate enough to ask to babysit a child who can’t be more than 10 minutes away from my boobs, so I guess I’ve got a couple more months before we get a parents night out.

– I hereby declare this week “Take-out week” since I refuse to turn on the stove at 85+ degrees.

– Taking care of a screaming child uses up an entire days worth of patience. Telemarketers and ATT tech support beware.

– Jumping and splashing in the river like a couple of 15-year olds is better than marriage counseling.

– After watching that “news” story about cankles on tv this morning, I think a) America is totally screwed up and b) I finally found a body part that I can be totally happy about. No cankles here!

– Since when can my tiny baby boy stand up!? You can’t even roll over, where do you think you’re going??
IMG_2859p.s. My in-laws gave us that onesie. Isn’t it hilarious? Now he looks even more delicious.