Today we looked at mansions. We ran into the owner of my favorite one (the green one) who I once bought a bunch of antique furniture from so I know slightly. She was like “Oh my God you had a baby! When did that happen?” And then she gave me the new mommy once-over. It’s like a very fast stink-eye that judges you on your remaining baby fat, general pastiness and whether or not your hair is washed (guess what, it’s not). I don’t think I did very well but luckily you get extra points for the cuteness of the baby and mine flirted his chubby butt off.

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