How long after having a baby does one get to continue saying “I just had a baby”?

In my darling husband’s mind, “just had a baby” means “the umbilical cord is still attached”. Anything after that is just laziness. Why wouldn’t I want to have a zillion house guests, walk a few miles, go to the DMV? It’s not like “I just had a baby”.

I think at three months I can still say “I just had a baby” and it should excuse me from all sorts of things: social events, making dinner, wearing pants without elastic waistbands. Because I “just had a baby” I don’t have to feel bad about not fitting into my old clothes yet. I can’t be expected to do too much. I need to take it easy. “I just had a baby.”

But when I hear about someone who “just had a baby” and it turns out that baby is already walking/talking/attending preschool I think that’s pushing it. Once your baby can feed itself he’s more of a child than a baby and maybe it’s time to pack up that phrase. Although I guess there doesn’t need to be a limit. One of the advantages of having children is using them as adorable little excuses forever. But I’m going to start feeling guilty for saying “Sorry I can’t, I just had a baby” at some point. I just wish I knew when that was.

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