On the cover of the June 1st People magazine, Bristol Palin is holding her baby above the words “If girls realized the consequences of sex, nobody would be having sex. Trust me. Nobody.” Well, that’s half way true – but it requires everyone to go ahead and have one baby. You think you’re scared of getting pregnant but you have NO IDEA. The thought of having to care for TWO babies is scarier than any you’ll-have-to-drop-out-of-school-and-work-at-McDonald’s-and-it-will-make-your-mother-and-Baby-Jesus-cry abstinence talk EVER. There is a strict 100% pants-on rule in effect at my house. Using three different forms of birth control seems not quite safe enough. I doubt I’d even sit in a hot tub with E right now because I heard that’s how my best friend’s cousin’s uncle’s girlfriend got pregnant. WITH TRIPLETS.