Why does entertainment  intended for children seem like it was created by people on drugs? Last night I rocked Baby Evan to sleep to a song about bowling. Bowling with a guy named Bert. I can understand most of the other songs on the tape because they’re about baby whales and meadows and trains and silly giraffes named Joshua. Very child friendly. But bowling? Raffi might have had a few beers that day.

Clearly though, the real serious drug users have focused on children’s television. Teletubbies? Sponge Bob? Yo Gabba Gabba?? No way were those shows created by sober people. I barely even believe they’re actually meant for children.