At the risk of offending one of my real life, in person friends I really need to get this off my chest.

All comments about the weight and/or fitness of a pregnant or recently un-pregnant person are unwelcome. Don’t tell a woman she’s getting huge, even if you mean she looks cute. Don’t tell her if she doesn’t get more exercise she’s going to be too out of shape to handle labor. (Clearly, this logic is flawed. Had my pushing been any more effective, the baby would have actually shot out like a cannon ball, possibly killing my unsuspecting OB.) Don’t mention that she’ll have lots of time to lose the weight before swim suit season. Don’t comment on her diet. Don’t mention that she is still wearing maternity jeans 2 weeks postpartum. (I know it feels like a long time since I gave birth but it’s only been two weeks. I’m not even allowed to start exercising until after my 6 week check-up.) Don’t talk about your own hugely successful weight loss, especially if it involved crazy fasts and cleansing drinks. I have to have calories to produce milk.

I know people who say stuff like this mean well. I don’t think it’s meant to come across as judgy and insulting. I’m sure no one’s trying to make me feel bad, but right now ANY comments on my appearance are unnecessary. That’s why babies are so cute – so moms can be kind of squishy and go a week without washing their hair and no one will notice. It’s science.