Is it ok to take my baby to an 11:30 am movie on a Thursday morning?

On the one hand, people who bring babies to movies are almost always assholes. Babies don’t understand that screaming during the most exciting part isn’t a good way to show their appreciation for a director’s work. Babies don’t always remember that you fed them ten minutes ago and the book says they should sleep for at least 2 more hours. (Sometimes I think babies don’t even READ those books. Jerks.) Plus there’s just something weird about someone bringing their baby to a grown-up movie, even if the baby is too young to see anything further from their face than their own hands and the only word they know is “AAAAAAAUUUUUURUUURUGH”.

On the other hand, who goes to the movies at 11:30 on a Thursday? I would be shocked if there was more than a dozen people in the whole building, let alone seeing the same film. If Baby Evan did start screaming, I could feed him without a single person knowing . Any screaming lasting more than 20 seconds would result in a dash to the door where I could calm him down without any angry glares.  And I plan to see something mostly harmless (if you consider Zac Efron’s attempt at world domination “harmless”) and not “Zombie Strippers vs. Lesbian Vampires Part 2: Now With More Nudity!”. Although to my baby, toplessness just looks like a delicious buffet.

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