I bought 5 or 6 nursing bras during the last two trimesters of my pregnancy. My boobs got so big I needed to upgrade anyway and figured I might as well get a year’s worth of use out of the these 40 DD/E monstrosities. I actually wore one in the hospital so my boobs didn’t punch anyone in the face during labor, which they had been threatening to do since they saw how ugly most nursing bras actually are.

Somehow it never occurred to me that I would need to wear something over all these bras. DEAR GOD are nursing clothes ugly. Or expensive. Or ugly and expensive. I know I will (theoretically) be breastfeeding for a year so investing in good nursing tops is more worthwhile than maternity clothes, but spending $42 on a basic white tank is still ridiculous. I must also have the first baby in the world who would just look at blue cotton as challenge: How many wet spots can I get on this in 20 minutes? If I wear cotton I might as well draw to giant arrows pointing at my nipples since even the thickest nursing pads have been unable to defeat the geysers that are my milk ducts. I need stretchy. I need man-made materials. So where do I get a $20 black polyester nursing tank? I ordered a couple tops from Old Navy and The Gap (who knew they sold this stuff???) so we’ll see how they work out.

While looking for nursing tops I came across a whole category of clothes I didn’t know existed:  post-maternity pants. I’m not sure what to think of them. Right now I would LOVE to wear pants that aren’t designed for the pregnant but I don’t think jeans with a built-in girdle will ever become part of my regular wardrobe. I’ll just wear my maternity jeans until I break down and buy some a few sizes larger than my old ones. To be totally honest, I did buy a Belly Bandit during a moment of vanity, but don’t think it’s going to be the miracle it’s advertised as. I’ll write a real review in a few weeks.