I’ve missed being awake before 9 am, if only because I’ve been missing the really good infomercials. Today I watched one called “Your Baby Can Read!” It apparently tries to teach your child how to do something called “reading” that involves “books” and possibly “flashcards”. You’re supposed to spend lots of time with your baby, providing mental stimulation for their tiny brains. These crazy parents, don’t they know that’s what TV is for? But luckily, it only takes a few minutes a day! And you can start teaching them words at 8 months! And it can cure your baby’s heart defect! Ok, maybe not that last one, but one of the women in this infomercial implies it. Which was the point when my eyes rolled so hard I think I pulled a muscle.

Don’t get me wrong, I love books. My mom brought up all my children’s books and I’ve already starting reading them out loud to my stomach. (Do you remember “Hundreds of Cat?” How about “George and Martha” the hippos? Would you like to see my signed Tomie dePaola book?) I love love love reading and I hope Baby Evan learns to love it too. I just don’t think I need to spend a ton of money on videos or guides or tiny whiteboards to instill that love. If I’m going to waste hundreds of dollars on teaching my baby a useful skill, it’s going to be more like bar tending or car repair.