Today is the first day of my last trimester. After my doctor’s appointment tomorrow I start going in every two weeks, and not long after that they start doing pelvic exams instead of just checking Baby’s heartbeat and my weight. But along with the sudden realization that I AM GOING TO HAVE A BABY comes a complete loss of common sense. I’ve started to think that things like a French baby food maker sound incredibly important and necessary. And then of course I’ll need a baby cookbook, because although I barely bother to add a little garlic to canned tomato sauce for E or myself, my infant needs actual recipes. Then there’s the matter of all the non-organic clothes, blankets, and toys I’ve bought or been given. Although the organic stuff costs roughly 200-400% more than the regular kind, what if I’m poisoning my baby slowly through his socks? To top it all off, I read an article about ways to remove the hair from your bikini line in the last trimester, when you can’t shave anymore because you CAN’T SEE IT. And now I’m worried my doctor will judge me, seeing as how the last time I thought about my bikini line was probably the day I got pregnant.

Since I clearly have no internal measure of wackiness left, I need some help. How insane is buying a hospital gown to deliver the baby in? These are adorable, I love that they close down the back and the snaps in the front for breastfeeding get an A+. On the other hand, they cost $50 and I am pretty much guaranteed to get at least three bodily fluids on it. Am I allowed to just give birth in a Target nightgown or an old t-shirt? I realize what I am wearing is going to be the last thing on my mind during labor, but for now, I have nothing else to think about. So. Good idea, bad idea?