I know mothers are pretty much split between ones who walk around saying “Oh I just loved being pregnant!” and women who think those bitches are lying. Who loves puking? Or stretch marks? Or the incredibly painful and constant leg cramps I’ve started getting during the night? Maybe if all those lying liars would stop talking about the joys of pregnancy everyone else would feel less bad about not loving every single minute of it.

Actually, I’m afraid I fall into the annoyingly happy category. Obviously I didn’t love morning sickness and I certainly won’t celebrate the spider veins appearing daily on my thighs. But every single time the baby moves, I forget all the bad parts. Every roll, punch, kick and wiggle is like being sprinkled with magic baby fairy dust and I want to stop everything else so I don’t miss a second of it. I’m sure once the baby is actually out in the world doing adorable baby things I won’t be so amazed at a few kicks, but right now, nothing in the world is better than being punched in the cervix. I bet you never thought you’d hear someone say that.