I have this patch of hair by my left temple that’s gotten all dry and curly. Seeing as how I normally have the oiliest, straightest hair in the history of the world, I find this really strange. I was going to get a haircut this week, but if my hair is planning on acting all weird I’m afraid to change it. I don’t suppose an inch will make much difference. I also smell funny. To myself. I have no idea if anyone else has noticed – who wants to risk their life by asking a hormonal crazy person if they know they smell weird – but it’s making me paranoid. Maybe Santa will bring me some perfume for Christmas. Or a case of extra-strength deodorant.

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