I can’t remember a single thing on my shopping list unless I am staring straight at it, I walked down the shampoo aisle at the store today and didn’t even glance at the conditioner I was out of, and I couldn’t find the book I was reading for hours – despite sitting almost directly ON IT.

But for some insane reason, my baby MAKES ME PSYCHIC. I swear I am not making this up. I have correctly predicted the ending to every show on TV this week. Tonight I woke E up just to tell him the ending of The Mentalist (good show for real, and Simon Baker ain’t bad to look at) twenty minutes before they actually revealed it. AND I WAS RIGHT. Then Jason was accused of rape on SVU and I was all “Whatevs, it was that other guy!” and I was right AGAIN. I don’t even look at my caller ID anymore, because I know who’s calling. When the doorbell rang today I answered it in my bathrobe because I knew it was just the UPS guy dropping of packages. Tomorrow I am going to buy some lottery tickets. Maybe I’ll talk E into some blackjack on Friday (like that’ll be hard) and win enough to cover that stroller I am lusting after.* Right now my baby and I are just a pretty good party trick. If we ever got invited to parties. Mmmm…party food. Mini quiches and chicken-on-a-stick sound awesome right now. I predict both things will be in my future.

*I never thought I’d describe a stroller like that, but I really can’t think of a better word than lust. It’s even stronger than my desire for cheese curls and Chick-fil-A.