One of the reasons I love my house is the bathroom. I could easily host a small cocktail party in it, but the shower is rather undersized. As I get larger it becomes more and more difficult to a) not bump into the walls or temperature controls and b) reach my legs. Since it is winter (I recommend winter pregnancies for many many reasons) I have been lazy with the leg shaving, but reached the point today where it can no longer be ignored. In this wonderful enormous bathroom is a whirlpool bathtub. I set it up with candles, lots of good smelling salts and fizzy balls, and bubble bath. It has always made me feel very glamorous to read a book and sip a glass of wine, like someone from a romantic comedy.

Unfortunately, in my current impregnated state, my lounging is more like that of a beached whale (an albino whale, I practically glow I’m so pale) than a movie star. When I tried to lie down and read a book my bump squished my boobs up to the point of strangulation. When I sat up the baby planted his butt firmly on my bladder and I had to hop (by hop I mean roll and slosh like a walrus) out for an emergency pee. I eventually found sort of an in between position with my feet up on the side but my belly got cold really fast sticking out of the water like a humpback.  Let’s see, have I missed any large sea mamals? Oh yeah, here we go:

huge-manateeThe good news is the baby seemed to like the bath. He rolled around happily, kicking and wiggling in a pleasant way, instead of his usual what-the-hell-are-you-doing way. So I’ll probably just kick up the heat in the bathroom and lock the door to prevent anyone from accidentally witnessing the above disaster.

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