My family didn’t really do Halloween growing up – instead we attended church “Fall Festivals” that involved dressing up in costumes, bobbing for apples and eating candy. But everyone was certain to make sure we weren’t sacrificing goats or holding seances in the Sunday School classrooms. No devil worship here, people!  Now that I’m a grown up with my own rules, I LOVE Halloween. I refuse to leave my house on the 31st so I don’t miss any trick-or-treaters. I’ve decorated my front steps, lawn, porch and entryway. My husband thinks I’m completely insane and I don’t care. Since I’m a terrible, mean wife who refuses to go to a “real” (spoken: lots of alcohol and slutty costumes) Halloween party, we’re probably going to host one instead. But if we have a party it means wearing my sweatpants and bunny ears don’t really qualify as dressing up. Since I’m already knocked up, I don’t think being a slutty-anything is appropriate. But an internet search for “maternity Halloween” turns up almost NOTHING. Witch, devil, angel, rag doll – regular cheap costumes with empire waists for my belly. Boring and ugly. The only pregnancy themed costume I’ve found is an oven – get it, bun in the oven? Blah. I’m not sopregnant that I have to wear something maternity, but I’d like to do something clever, original and funny that somehow involves my current fertilised state. I was trying to figure out how to be Bristol Palin (with E in a flannel shirt and trucker cap for her boyfriend) but can’t figure out how to do it without just wearing a name tag. Any ideas?