Today was my first real day of unemployment. Yesterday I was still homeless, so I amused myself by wandering around town drinking hot chocolate and watching the ducks at the marina. Not very productive but the weather was lovely and I’ve started to get my energy back, so wandering + chocolate was just what I needed. I even made it to the YMCA for some time on the elliptical machine and a few laps in the pool. I felt like such a GOOD pregnant woman!

Today I wanted to shoot myself. I think that might be bad for the baby though. I woke up at 8, and decided I should definitely get started with my housewifing. All our family room furniture was still in the dining room and the dining room furniture is in the living room, but I can’t lift couches and bookcases myself so I stuck to putting things back in closets and doing laundry. I did all the laundry, even washing the sheets and towels that no one had used. I emptied my closets of all the clothes I don’t plan to wear (about half of them) and that no longer fit (the other half). We haven’t cooked at home in a week so there weren’t any dishes. I bought groceries. I walked the dog twice, finished the novel I was reading, watched Judge Judy and made dinner. Now that E is home I at least have someone to talk to, but I think he’s a little overwhelmed by my desire to hear about every single detail of his day involving talking to actual people.

The last time I tried housewifery (probably not a real word) it was only for 3 months. I amused myself by baking. I also gained 20 – ok, 30 – pounds and I wasn’t pregnant. This time I am determined not to eat my weight in cookie dough, even if the baby is screaming right now for some chocolate chip. Maybe I’ll stick to one pie/cake/batch of cookie/type of brownie a week, and perfect my low-fat baked chicken receipe instead. If I can find one of those.

Really, I should remember that I am lucky. Most mothers (even if all I’m mothering at the moment is a tadpole and a dog) would love the chance to stay home. I actually have time to take up a hobby. I’m filling out volunteer applications. I can swim laps for five hours a day if I want. But in reality, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t work. I don’t have any mommy friends to have lunch with. I can’t just wander around town harassing women into conversation. I guess once I have a baby to drag around (outside my uterus) I can join a playgroup – preferable the kind that provides cocktails. But for now I’m a semi-desperate stay at home pregnant woman who would like you to come pick up a dozen cookies as soon as possible.

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