I don’t want to jinx anything so I’m going to write in code.

Once there was a girl named Luzanne who was about 14 weeks pregnant. Her husband Kevin was being banished by the evil wizard from the magical land of Nonnecticutt to a place far, far away called Shman Diego. Luzanne was very sad. She did not want to leave her pretty castle to live on the other side of the kingdom. She complained very loudly to everyone who would listen, demanding someone stop the evil wizard. Kevin did not want to distress Luzanne, so he talked to all the king’s men and they agreed to cancel the banishment and allow him to stay in Nonnecticutt for a few more years. Kevin laughed in the face of the evil wizard and was so confident he tore up the banishment paperwork. Now Kevin’s probably going to get a really cool job working as a liaison between the king and Electric Boat, which means he won’t have to go on any quests for at least 3 years and will definitely be home for the birth of his first child. It also means Luzanne doesn’t have to potentially give birth in a Uhaul trunk somewhere in Montana. And they all lived happily ever after. The end.