I didn’t sleep very well last night because I was busy composing my resignation letter in my head. It usually started with “Thank you for all the opportunities but I won’t be continuing with the company” and ended with “GOOD LUCK FINDING SOME OTHER SUCKER WHO WILL DO THIS JOB YOU UNGRATEFUL JERKS!!!” On the one hand my job is not demanding. It is not even full time. I don’t hate the parts that actually involve me doing my job. But my stupidity tolerance levels have reached an all-time low. I spent my entire day today creating a color-coded flow chart to show agents how to enter their listings into the online system. The worst part is it is exactly the same system they have all been using for at least 2 years. We all went through training for the new system but apparently they spent that time thinking about golf or shoes or puppies or something and just rely on me to know everything.

My real problem is I am not invested in this job. There is no advancement, no benefits, no bonuses. Even if I worked 40 hours a week and never took a day off, I’d barely be making $20k a year. With a move possible as soon as October, another move possible in February, the baby in April and then a move for surebefore the end of 2009, I’d rather spend my time enjoying this pregnancy instead of coming home frustrated and angry every day. I realize my privilege is showing terribly – the fact that I even have this choice makes me feel a little guilty. But one of the reasons we waited four years to have a child is so I could stay home, although I don’t know if staying home so soon was part of the plan.

I don’t know the appropriate way to tell my boss I just don’t care. I wish he’s bring up the fact that in 6 months I’m going to need at least a few weeks off, so I could mention he might want to start looking for a replacement. I could write pages and pages on all the things I’m not going to be able to train someone and pages and pages on why, if they were smart, my company would offer me the option to do most of my job from home. But I’ll keep (most of) my complaining to myself, and try to get up my nerve to turn in a short, polite, early resignation letter so no one can accuse me of abandoning the company.

Footnote: Yesterday made me want to quit. Today actually went pretty well, with lots of “good jobs” and “we appreciate yous”. I know in the long run I’m leaving one way or another, so why is it so hard to just SAY so?

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